together4never

First I check my e-mail (Yahoo and my college account), then I log onto tumblr. After that, I'll check my favorite fashion blogs and post some of my favorite images onto tumblr. Then I'll check my livejournal and occasionally post something. After that, I'll do some homework or just generally goof off.

The aspects of my life that I am unsatisfied with are the ones I don't really have any control over. I hate that I don't start at my university until January, and that I've been pissing away time and money at a community college, but it was the university's decision to admit me for spring semester, not fall. I would love to have a higher paying job, but despite the fact that I have sent applications to numerous places, I have yet to find better work than the internship I work at part-time. Other than these two things, though, I am pretty content with the direction my life is going. I am in school, I am working, I am dating. I have my friends, I'll be eighteen in six days and soon I actually will be at my dream school. Everything else is just quibbling over details.

Just this past week I went to LoveFest, a rave/electronic festival in San Francisco. As I was there, I couldn't believe how many drugs were available for consumption. It was easier to find drugs than alcohol. However, while I was there, I walked by multiple people vomiting on the street. I saw one boy rolling around in his own vomit, all the while still puking. I also saw a completely unresponsive man being put on a stretcher, and saw many more ambulances throughout the day. It was jarring. Like many other teenagers, I have done a little experimenting. However, it's one thing to take a sip and a completely other thing to drink or do drugs to an excess. I never want to lose control over who I am. I don't want to be that girl rolling around on the street, dress up as she pukes. I learned that while at this festival.

I've only been to like, three concerts in my life, but the most memorable would have to be the Honda Civic Tour concert I went to featuring Fall Out Boy, Cobra Starship, Paul Wall, and The Academy Is. At the time, these were all of my favorite bands (excluding Paul Wall) and I was just excited to be there. I danced during the whole thing, even though everyone around me was looking like, "WTF is that girl doing." It was just a fun time.

I fail at keeping up my plan of writing every day. But anyway. I don't know what my ideal tech accessory would be. I already love my new laptop (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) and my iPod and my cell phone. And the combination of all three of these is already on the market. So I don't know.

I would have a sex themed restaurant, and hire ridiculously looking boys and girls to be the waiters. They would wait tables, and then go-go dance. And then there would be lots of dirty pictures on the wall, and all kinds of weird sexual things all over the restaurant.
Just kidding. That'd be pretty gross and over the top.
I don't know. I never really thought about opening a restaurant. I watch too much of Gordon's Kitchen Nightmares and therefore know how difficult it would be to run one. Well, maybe not know, but I get the point. I suppose if I was to open one, it would have a very simple, laid-back California theme. Probably have pictures of the Bay Bridge, and the Oakland Hills, and other parts of the Bay Area that I enjoy. I imagine the walls would be either beige or blue, to either look like the sand or the water, I don't know. And the food would be a mix of American and Meditterean.

I love the Victoria's Secret themed Writer's Blocks. They really are quite fun to answer.
I remember once I took  a quiz about "What kind of bra are you?" or something to that effect. It told me that I'm the classic black bra. And ever since then, I've always loved wearing sleek black bras, even though I don't currently own any at the moment. (I recently went through and tossed a lot of my underwear due to the discovery that my boobs grew)
I also really enjoy skinny jeans and heels. Those two are instant confidence boosters. A flowing shirt/dress, leggings, and boots also have the same effect. Confidence comes from the fact that these sorts of outfits flatter my body type by making me appear taller and leaner.

I love aspects of my body. It's not perfect, and I'm still not extremely comfortable with it, but it's all due to small reasons, really. I wish I was more muscular (I always cite Britney Spears' body in I'm A Slave 4 U as what I ideally want to look like), and I feel like I have to Nair more frequently than most girls, but otherwise I love the skin I'm in. I love that I'm black, and that my skin is this nice brown. I love my eyes. I love that I'm petite. I love that my feet and hands are dainty. I love that while I'm small, I still have curves. I love that I look more like an underwear model than one you'd find in a D&G ad.

Ever since I got into tumblr, I've always wanted to come back to my Livejournal account. I used to be so active on this website, but with the popularity of social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace, I kind of fell away from LJ. But this was always my original blogging spot, the one place I was able to retreat to when I was lonely, or angry, or whatever. So, now I am going to make an effort to do the following things:

• Update my LJ frequently
• Comment on fanfics that I enjoy
• Possibly become reinvolved in some of the band communities I have abandoned

I feel like all of these are completely reasonable, and it will help me maintain my AP English writing skills, to some extent. I would also love to start writing fanfiction again, but I honestly don't know if I can. I haven't written a short story in three years, and haven't attempted a chaptered one in nearly as long, and the last real fanfiction I wrote was when I was eleven (I don't even want to think how awful it was). Nor do I know what fandom the story would be in. But I get really inspired by other people's writings, and want to inspire others. I don't know. It will work itself out, I suppose.

No. I feel that there are some things out there that simply cannot be explained. Perhaps humans do not have the complexity to understand them. I don't know, but I assume this belief of mine stems from my early years of being a good Roman Catholic. But really, even if there was a scientific explanation as to why I'm here, I doubt I would want to know it. I think it's kind of like trying to get close to the sun. We can look and stare but eventually we have to shield our eyes. There are just some things we cannot get close to.

Okay, so I made a back-up account over at Greatest Journal in case things truly go to hell over here. I'll still keep this one as a journal and because of all the Fall Out Boy related news which I get from here but if you want to add me over at Greatest Journal or whatever, now you can.